last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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