Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
