Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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