I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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