Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
