I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
