Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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