I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
