he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
