He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Another day, another engagement, another cat
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
