You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
