My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
