she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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