my sisters under your porch take her home
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
