he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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