he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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