Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
