Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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