Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I had to cum in my sink.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
