WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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