so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
