so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
