Your dad touched me again.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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