Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
