to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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