tonight lets celebrate not being married
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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