I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize