I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
