u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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