Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
