TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
