I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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