I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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