If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
