ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
