honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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