He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
