have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We are two peas in an std pod
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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