did you get engaged???
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
