I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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