this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
