why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's shark week go big or go home
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
