i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There r osticjed everywhere
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
