I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
