so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
