Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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