idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
