what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
