I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize
