the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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