ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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