And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
