It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
