I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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